Pregnant or Drunk?

At 33 weeks pregnant, I’ve been booze-free for, like, eternity now. Sobriety has me noticing a few similarities between being pregnant and being drunk:

  • By the time you’re done peeing, you have to pee again.
  • You go out at midnight for milkshakes and cheese fries.
  • You can’t walk in a straight line. In fact, you can’t clearly see your feet.
  • You sit on the couch and close your eyes for a few seconds. When you open them, it’s dark, you’re alone, and several hours have passed.
  • You talk about your bodily functions with greater ease than is technically appropriate.
  • Your liver hurts.*

* Note that my baby is kicking my liver incessantly. I’m pretty sure his feet are right next to it. I was rubbing there the other day (because it hurt) and he started kicking again in response. Ouch.

** I know I promised a post about JaNoWriMo. It was going well, but my progress has stalled a bit. I’ll let you know how things are going soon!


Add comment